


Maro, Bane of Bananas

by Darkrealmist



Category: Magic: The Gathering (Card Game)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Card Games, Comedy, Crack, Dimension Travel, Eldraine (Magic: The Gathering), Elemental Magic, Elves, F/F, Fairy Tale Elements, Fantasy, Fire, Food, Fruit, Gen, Humor, In-Jokes, Inspired by Real Events, Magic, Meta, Nature, Parallel Universes, Parody, Vomiting, Wordcount: 100-1.000, Wordcount: 100-500, Wordcount: Under 10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24940861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkrealmist/pseuds/Darkrealmist
Summary: The Multiverse’s first Maro-Sorcerer Planeswalker sets out to destroy all bananas in the Multiverse.
Relationships: Chandra Nalaar/Nissa Revane
Kudos: 5





	Maro, Bane of Bananas

Maro, Bane of Bananas

Author’s Note: Enjoy the story and R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of _Magic: The Gathering_ , nor do I intend to offend through any material expressed herein; I am merely mimicking self-referential Un-set humour.

Summary:

The Multiverse’s first Maro-Sorcerer Planeswalker sets out to destroy all bananas in the Multiverse.

* * *

Seven planes in seven days.

Chandra Nalaar had been shadowing the newly sparked Planeswalker from Dominaria to Lorwyn. Amonkhet to Innistrad. Zendikar to Ravnica. They were hopping around so frequently, she thought she might throw up. Half the walks, she actually did.

As far as she was aware, a nature elemental never ascended before. She knew someone adept at _nature magic_ who ascended, but presently, it was sensitive territory.

Jace’s contacts alerted wherever this plant travelled, it wiped out all bananas. You did not hear that wrong. A sapient forest avatar was out in the Multiverse, casting Naturalize on yellow fruit. And the Gatewatch, the interplanar league self-charged with upholding peace, saw fit to intervene.

She followed to a world of castles and chivalrous knights. On Eldraine, bananas ended in (gasp) double loops.

When Chandra trotted out her pyromantics, the spirit’s bark lignified into a “face” with a rigid mouth. But could it talk?

“Yeah, I need an interpreter capable of translating tree. Nissa, if you’re out there, any time right about now!”

The elf woman didn’t make an appearance.

Extending the proverbial olive branch (only here, it was also a branch), the Maro-Sorcerer let her in on its crusade. Guided by body language, she unpeeled and sampled a specimen of Eldraine’s bizarrely shaped fruit.

Through this act, they reached an understanding.

“You know what…” She spat sickening mush. “Screw Jace. I don’t like bananas much either.”


End file.
